The Fall of RGIII

****** As Published in RVA Mag ****** What a ride, R-Words.  The benching of RGIII signals the end of the roller coaster, a sudden stop that jolts our upper bodies forward over the waist harness.  Our hair is frazzled, our eyes are wide, and we left our stomachs at the top of one of those drops behind … Continue reading The Fall of RGIII

Griffin Gets New R-Word Name: Sitting Duck

**** As published in RVA Mag **** [WARNING: I will be using the term "R-Words" throughout this article because I have no idea what's right anymore] The term "bye week" evidently originated in cricket.  It's a moment in the game where the "batsman," which is the name I think Batman must go by in England, can … Continue reading Griffin Gets New R-Word Name: Sitting Duck

To Scramble, You’ve Got to Break Some Legs

"Just a cup of coffee, please," Robert Griffin III told the waitress behind the bar.  He eased his broken body onto the bar stool at the Washington D.C. breakfast diner, but he wasn't hungry.  He had slept poorly the night before after watching his Washington R-Words fall to the Seattle Seahawks, yet again.  He couldn't break his … Continue reading To Scramble, You’ve Got to Break Some Legs

Captain’s Log Stinks So Bad, Fans Leave Early

"He's ready for you," said a suited, serious man, holding the door barely ajar which read: Dan Snyder, Owner. "But it's so dark in there," responded Robert Griffin III, pointing with his right crutch. A broken, cackling laughter emerged from the seemingly pitch black room.  The disturbing sound was then consumed by the erupting cheering of … Continue reading Captain’s Log Stinks So Bad, Fans Leave Early

Griffin Attempts to Turn Clock Back, Hurts Self Again

[WARNING: I will be using the term "R-Words" throughout this article because I have no idea what's right anymore] "Baylor statue, these clock hands are huge!" said Robert.  Everyone knows RGIII always says, "Baylor statue," when he's frustrated, so no one below flinched.  Granted, they were hundreds of feet below.  No one probably heard the 2012 … Continue reading Griffin Attempts to Turn Clock Back, Hurts Self Again