Are You Sad About the Cow?

NYC Midnight 2016 1st Place Story in Flash Fiction Challenge   “It’ll be fun,” I consoled my husband as we parked the van. “We won’t even tell them it’s vegan.” “What’s a vegan?” said one of them.  To mothers, even the good ones, all your children’s voices tend to blend together. The amalgam just sort …

A Dan Snyder X-Mas Carol

******* Now a Kindle eBook on Amazon.com ******* It was an abnormally cold night, even for FedEx Field in December. And unfortunately for one Daniel Snyder, the offices were no refuge from it. Ticket sales were down.  Robert Griffin III jersey sales, once the cash cow of the franchise, had halted.  The team name was …

Griffin Gets New R-Word Name: Sitting Duck

**** As published in RVA Mag **** [WARNING: I will be using the term "R-Words" throughout this article because I have no idea what's right anymore] The term "bye week" evidently originated in cricket.  It's a moment in the game where the "batsman," which is the name I think Batman must go by in England, can …

Verily, Verily, Griffin Will Return

"He won't eat his dinner," Tanya Snyder said to her husband, Dan, as he walked into the Snyder manor front door. "How was he with his tutors?" Dan asked, pushing his glasses up onto his nose and crossing his arms. Tanya's head tilted toward Dan, her eyes staring at him bleakly.  Apparently, it hadn't gone …

Hell to the R-Words

***As published in RVA Mag*** [WARNING: I will be using the term "R-Words" throughout this article because I have no idea what's right anymore] Kirk Cousins walked a little slower than normal into the R-Words facility, his head bouncing back and forth from one side of his chest to the other.  On his way in, he kicked …

To Scramble, You’ve Got to Break Some Legs

"Just a cup of coffee, please," Robert Griffin III told the waitress behind the bar.  He eased his broken body onto the bar stool at the Washington D.C. breakfast diner, but he wasn't hungry.  He had slept poorly the night before after watching his Washington R-Words fall to the Seattle Seahawks, yet again.  He couldn't break his …

Captain’s Log Stinks So Bad, Fans Leave Early

"He's ready for you," said a suited, serious man, holding the door barely ajar which read: Dan Snyder, Owner. "But it's so dark in there," responded Robert Griffin III, pointing with his right crutch. A broken, cackling laughter emerged from the seemingly pitch black room.  The disturbing sound was then consumed by the erupting cheering of …

Kirk to Bridge: I’m the Captain Now

[WARNING: I will be using the term "R-Words" throughout this article because I have no idea what's right anymore] Extra large R-Words defensive tackle, Chris Baker, stood pat.  He had done his job, caused pressure to the quarterback, and now was awaiting the result of Nick Foles' downfield pass.  It was the beginning of the …

Griffin Attempts to Turn Clock Back, Hurts Self Again

[WARNING: I will be using the term "R-Words" throughout this article because I have no idea what's right anymore] "Baylor statue, these clock hands are huge!" said Robert.  Everyone knows RGIII always says, "Baylor statue," when he's frustrated, so no one below flinched.  Granted, they were hundreds of feet below.  No one probably heard the 2012 …

Griffin Dips Beak in New Offense, Drowns

[WARNING: I will continue to use the term, "R-Words," throughout this article because I have no idea what's right anymore]"Well, he promised he would take care of me."Everyone in the circle nods and mhm's.  "I don't know.  He was just so charming.  There were times when he made me really happy."Mhm."I think I'm breaking free …